|
« July 2008 | | September 2008 »
CarrollBlog 9.1
"What's that?"
CarrollBlog 8.31
I am standing by the door looking at the floor of the subway car as it rattles into the station. The doors open, people get on and off, doors close again and the train starts to move. I look up and directly across from me is The Elephant Man. Half of his face looks like it has melted unevenly down his cheek. The deep gray skin is pooled on the bottom of the left side of his chin. His nose looks like candle wax that has dribbled and dried on the way down. The eye on the bad side of his face is so dark that it literally looks black, although the man is wearing large thick glasses and I cannot clearly see how dark the eye really is. His whole face and head (his hair is thin and I can see through it) is covered with strange huge bumps which is apparently the sign of neurofibromatosis, known by many as Elephant Man's disease. You know what I am describing if you have seen the David Lynch film. My soul literally gasps when it sees him for the first time. Thank God I have managed to make my face expressionless by the time he looks up and we make eye contact. He nods at me and then glances back at the PDA he is using. I don't know what his nod means-- recognition that yes, what I am seeing is really him? Or some sort of greeting, or any number of other possible meanings. It is so hard not to look again. I cannot believe what I saw. I know it is wrong to stare but I want to so much. How is it possible a human being can look like that? How is it possible to walk through life with a face even the most cruel and vivid imagination would have a hard time conjuring. The train slows for the next station. It is one before the stop I had planned but I get off and walk quickly toward the exit.
CarrollBlog 8.30
In the mail is an expensively produced catalog from one of the ritziest jewelers in town. All of the pictures inside are beautifully done, the paper is of the highest quality, the binding is the best. It looks like a very swank fashion magazine. You can imagine what is being featured inside-- gold, diamonds, gold and diamonds, bracelets. necklaces, hideously expensive watches, etcetera. But the only interesting thing about the catalog is that each page has Braille printed on it, explaining I can only assume what is featured there. Having noticed it, I close the catalog and stand there a long time thinking about this seeming oxymoron. Imagining a blind person "looking through" a jewelry catalog. A blind person owning jewelry, etcetera. If they cannot see the diamond, do they get their pleasure from touching it? If they cannot see the 7,000 euro watch, why buy it? A whole bunch of interesting, 'lateral thinking' questions arise having to do with the blind and jewelry and how their enjoyment of it would differ from someone who can see it. For the first time I'm grateful to the store for sending me their catalog.
CarrollBlog 8.29
"At the moment the woman opened the book by Proust and plunged into her reading, some sort of cosmic yet invisible shift took place. She is no longer on the train on this workday morning. She has fled, at least partially, to a different country. She is surrounded not by solemn, sleepy New York subway riders, but perhaps by the haughty guests at an elegant, turn of the century Parisian dinner. She is living in this present moment, between 8:50 and 8:55 A.M., and at the same time in the half-imagined, half-remembered evening Marcel Proust wrote about, and also in the actual time during which Proust -- asthmatic, insomniac -- was writing, when day was indistinguishable from night because the thick curtains were always drawn. A dying man trying to put off the end so that he could finish the same novel this lady in front of me reads so effortlessly." Alfred Munoz Molina
CarrollBlog 8.28
the man in front of you is just tall enough you stand behind him the man in front of you the man in front of you
CarrollBlog 8.27
The kissers were there again this morning. They started showing up in the park about two weeks ago and are now there almost every day. Whenever I see them they're sitting on a certain bench, kissing furiously. Not just smooches, but limbs wrapped around/1930's romantic movie/lip locks that go on and on. Lovers are a common thing to see in any park when there's good weather, but this couple are there every day at six in the morning passionately embracing. Every day. I don't know about you but I'm always embarrassed by people making out in public, so every time I see them at it I look away. But the dog needs to make his park circle so as long I'm there, I glance up now and then and voila they're kissing. It's such an uncommon thing to see that early in the morning that of course I create daily scenarios why they are there then: both of them are married to other people, they met and fell in love at work, and this is the only time and place in the day where they can be together in an intimate way without arousing the suspicion of their spouses. Or they're in those glorious early days of the relationship when all you want to do is eat your partner 24/7, it doesn't matter where you are. Or... I still can't tell if I'm happy or sad to see them. I think I will sort of miss them when time or familiarity with each other changes everything.
CarrollBlog 8.26
On the bus, four young women are sitting together talking and laughing animatedly. They're sort of punky and pierced looking but happy and engaged, very unlike the sullen mono-lump punks often become when they're together. These women are sitting close enough so that I can hear their conversation. It takes a while to decipher they're all going now to catch a train to travel to Stein, home of the largest jail in Austria. All of them have men imprisoned there and they're discussing the sentences and conditions of their loved ones. The interesting thing is how upbeat they are even when saying things like, "My Rudy's sentence was extended four months after he hit a guy over the head with a bench." The others chuckle and shake their heads affectionately as if they know that kind of shenanigan well. Good old Rudy...
CarrollBlog 8.25
The chic'est, most exclusive shopping street in Vienna is called Kohlmarkt. All the famous designers have stores there-- Vuitton, Armani, Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana... From what I've heard, the rents for anything on that small street are insane. Whenever I pass one store in particular I smile because the story of how it got there is as crazy as the cost of rent. A friend who is in Viennese real estate told me what happened. A world renowned couturier spent a fortune completely renovating one of the stores on the Kohlmarkt. Rumor has it that it cost close to a million euros to do the work. When it was finished and preparations were already in full swing for the grand opening, the big boss of the company in Milan flew up to Vienna specifically to look at the store to see if it needed anything before opening for business. The Kohlmarkt is a short walking street. To get from one end to the other takes no more than seven minutes if you're moving quickly. The boss came towards the store from one end of the street but as he approached the building, he slowed more and more until he came to a complete stop. "What is that fish store?" he asked one of his minions. The assistant didn't understand. "There is a 'Nordsee' fish restaurant next to my shop." No one knew what to say. "Are you out of your minds? You planned to open one of our shops, one of the most exclusive brands in the world, next door to a place where they cook *fish* all day long? Forget it. Stop everything."
CarrollBlog 8.24
Although she is very old and moves oh so slowly, the woman still has two dogs that she walks a few times a day. Every time I see her she stops me to talk about her pets' latest health crisis or the newest diet she has put them on. Both animals look at least a hundred years old so it is not surprising that they are going through some tough times. As soon as she starts to talk, the two dogs plop down in the middle of the sidewalk and begin to pant, irregardless of the season. While they pant, both of them stare up at her as if they're listening carefully to everything she says, just to make sure she gets all their details right.
CarrollBlog 8.23
In Praise of Joe I love you hot Dark brown as wet bark of an apple tree, but you have your own scent that even I drink you at coffee bars for $6 a hit, Mornings you go off in my mouth like an electric Whether latte, cappuccino, black or Greek but spend my life pressing the snooze You waken in me the gift of speech when I
CarrollBlog 8.22
An email from a friend in Florida riding out Tropical Storm Fay. They were in New Orleans years ago helping out during Hurricane Katrina: As you know, I live in Brevard County, the place everyone in America keeps hearing about on the news, as it relates to Tropical Storm Fay. This storm, which started out as a pesky little nuisance, has turned into one big bitch. She just won't move and keeps dropping water all over everything. Here in Rockledge - just north of Melbourne and just south of Cape Canaveral and Cocoa - we have gotten 28 inches of rain so far. It has not stopped raining at all since late Monday night. The whole thing is surreal.
CarrollBlog 8.21
The woman with the three strange children sits in the park every day on the same bench around 2 pm. She is very heavy so she rarely moves from the spot. She usually sits there alone watching park life. Sometimes her children come with her. Two very large teenage girls and a much younger boy. The kids are known around the neighborhood for doing peculiar things liking begging for bread at outdoor restaurants, screaming or hitting each other in the middle of the sidewalk, or going up to strangers and asking do you like me? When they are with their mother in the park it is interesting to watch because the kids are all motion and action, words, noise, flutter. But the woman is silent and still like a statue. I believe she thinks of her time in the park as hers. My kids can come along when I'm there, but I don't have to respond to them in that place. They're just like the trees, or strangers passing by, the wind blowing.
CarrollBlog 8.19
Hey you. Welcome to the new-incarnation of the JC site. Spend some time looking around because there are secrets and treasures all over the place. A brand new short story that you can either read or listen to, photographs, new FAQ, on and on.The LIGHTCAGE company did a wonderful job creating it. I think you'll agree this is a perfect home for THE GHOST IN LOVE when it arrives at the end of September. Many loud and heartfelt thanks to those who made it possible.
CarrollBlog 8.15
When this website wakes up again at the beginning of next week, the Ghost will be here.
CarrollBlog 8.14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uj4pUD7YwI&feature=related
CarrollBlog 8.13
There are smiles that ruin faces. Nice faces or plain, beautiful, ugly-- it doesn't matter. As soon as they smile, it's over; you close some kind of mental door on them. Whether because it's a false smile, or cold, strange, crazy, calculating-- in an instant it tells you a great deal about the person who created it. Whether it's fair or not, there's something in you that pulls back no matter how attracted you were to them moments ago.
CarrollBlog 8.12
Remainder of a Life If I were told:
CarrollBlog 8.11
Dislocation It happens in an instant. It's that moment when your life you have slipped on at a party Your life feels awkward, ill feel you don't belong here. whatever you means, this mind, have lost the ability to enter your out here forever peering in
CarrollBlog 8.10
A while ago a very elegant and tasteful store opened nearby. It sells sex toys for women but you almost wouldn't know that by looking at it until you realize what's on display in the windows. Everything is downplayed and doesn't call attention to itself, if you know what I mean. The things in the windows are obviously what they are, but the whole feel of the place is professional and decidedly discreet. The store is on my dog walk route and what I find interesting is how women generally respond to it when they are passing by. Usually they have one of three reactions. The first group looks, realizes what's there and immediately scurries away fast, often peering around to make sure no one saw them window shopping. Next there are the gigglers, especially if there are two or more of them. They are sniggering and hooting, pointing at the wares and poking each other like kids daring the other to do something. They're delighted and embarrassed by the stuff but since their friend is looking too, it's all in fun and what's THAT thing for? Giggle poke giggle. The last group are the serious perusers. These women don't give a damn if anyone sees them staring at the sex toys because they are really really interested. They are the ones most apt to actually walk into the store after looking. The others are obviously too embarrassed or unwilling to go in when their friends are there.
CarrollBlog 8.9
Yesterday a charter bus crashed in Texas, killing fourteen and injuring many more. The passengers were making a religious pilgrimage to a shrine in Missouri. Over the years it has struck me the inordinately large number of tragedies that happen while people are performing religious duties. The repeated stampedes that kill hundreds in Mecca when the yearly Haj is taking place there. Or the plane that crashed into the church and killed everyone in the building. This happened when it was full because the people were attending a first communion ceremony. The recent madman in the US who entered a church on Sunday and murdered worshipers. The scores of people gathered in Pakistan for a religious ceremony, killed by suicide bombers...This sort of thing happens frequently-- the devout killed while in the process of doing God's work. Whether you are a believer or not, it goes beyond irony.
CarrollBlog 8.8
6 in the morning. Pouring rain. A man is sitting on a low ledge outside a store reading a newspaper. Next to him is a little boy in a baby stroller. Above them an overhang protects them from the downpour. My first reaction is what the hell is that man doing, sitting out in the rain with a baby? Is he nuts? But then I look more carefully. Both of them are completely protected and completely content doing what they're doing. Dad reading his paper, the boy looking with happy dreamy eyes at the rain coming down in front of him. The kid points at the rain and makes a loud gurgle. Dad looks up, smiles, and nods his head in agreement. Two guys happy out in the rain together. James Hillman
CarrollBlog 8.6
"It seemed impossible that I had ever lived without Lulu. And the closer I got to her, the more I knew that she was the only person I had ever cared to know. Lulu was an entire population. You could string adjectives together like daisy chains and not describe Lulu. Verbs came closer: soaring, crashing, yearning, laughing, dreaming, kissing. But metaphors came closest: Lulu was a white-hearted starburst, a silver-crested wave. Lulu was the sound electricity makes." from ALL ABOUT LULU by Jonathan Evison
CarrollBlog 8.5
No matter how smart or hip, jaded or 'seen it all' you think you are, once in a while you encounter something in life that is so astonishing that it instantly reduces you to childlike, drop jawed awe. It is not always nice things either. This morning I read an article about the accused Serbian war criminal Ratko Mladic. In the middle 1990's Mladic's 22 year old daughter, a medical student, read an article in a magazine that laid out in specific irrefutable detail the crimes her father would later be held responsible for by the World Court. The young woman was so appalled that she took his favorite service revolver and shot herself in the head with it. That in itself is hideous, but what followed was what stunned me more. An autopsy was performed on the woman. Mladic asked the doctor to give him the bullet that killed her and a small piece of her hair. He wanted to keep both as remembrances of his beloved child.
CarrollBlog 8.3
Eating Together I know my friend is going,
CarrollBlog 8.2
The final schedule for my October tour in the US is in. The two changes are the Portland, Oregon reading has been canceled and so has the one in St. Louis. Schedule conflicts, airplane connections that don't work-- several reasons. There has been a reading/signing added on October 21 at the 'M is for Mystery' bookstore in San Mateo, Calif. All this will be posted on the new revised website when it goes up within the next few weeks (hopefully). In the meantime I've corrected the schedule posted earlier this week and you can have a look there. Leonard Cohen |
